I have a recurring dream where I am standing between a bright light on one side, and the human figure that I know as Jesus because of man’s idea put into image, on the other side. Sort of like a tunnel. Both beckoning me to come one way or the other. I feel compelled to go to the light. I have been pushed by people before to accept Jesus as God, the creator, but I can never fully do so. It feels like a betrayal to the Almighty. It doesn’t feel good.

I have to admit that I have never thought of Jesus as God. I have always known him as my redeemer, savior, a messiah anointed by God to come and give us deliverance from our sins. I believe Jesus to be worthy of praise, but I believe that without the Father, the son could never have been, and only because of Yahweh do we have a Jesus. I knew and felt God before reading a bible or having man teach me what man thinks they know. I have always felt as an inferior being, as in, I know something supernatural created all things, and I have always believed in the human soul.

I really do not ever intend to write nor speak anything to try and push anyone into what I believe. I know only one absolute truth, and that is – God, creator, Yahweh, Almighty – whatever you may call Him, the being that gave life to creation – is for real. He has worked miracles in my life, He has listened and answered my prayers, I feel His spirit, I see His glory in all things. 

I believe Jesus to be the way in which we can ultimately connect to the Father. This is just my belief.  Knowing Jesus is important because he has given us such a clear way to please God. He came and gave us two great commandments – to love eachother and to obey God. It really is not hard. When I read about Jesus, he confirms to me that man does not know how to get things right. When I read the old testament, it confirms to me the same thing. So many people can read a verse and have SO many different interpretations while all claiming to be reading with prayer and an open heart. Honestly, I believe we should just keep these ideas and opinions to ourselves, or at least not claim to know for certain – I mean, LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND OBEY GOD. Seriously, that is it. 

I do not know what happens after life ends on this earth. I have absolutely no idea. I hope to be with God – that is as far as my mind will venture when I try to ponder on the idea of Heaven or hell. I feel solid and affirmed in what I believe, and I would hope anyone with a belief has the same solid, affirming feeling. 

Humans really muck things up. All the time. No one is perfect. No thought, heart, nor opinion is absolute. I cannot say that someone is doomed to damnation, ever, for any reason. It’s not my call. I also think it is a bit nutty for people to say not to question the bible. Man did write the bible. Man did say they were under the influence of the holy spirit while interpreting the bible, but so do people with differing opinions on the same scripture. LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND OBEY GOD. 

Why are so many people obsessed with being absolutely right? God is LOVE. He LOVES us. I cannot imagine Him throwing anyone out because they simply have doubts, but absolutely believe in and obey Him. 

I prefer to BE. And PRAY. And LOVE with all that I am. If I remember correctly, Jesus came mocking religious traditions. Jesus was always praying to the Father. Always. If he is God, why would he be praying to God. That is not a question, but a statement. He cried out to God. Like so many before him, I believe the spirit of God was upon him and with him throughout his whole journey to the cross.

Again, these are just my beliefs. Love one another and obey God.


2 thoughts on “Reflecting

  1. I love your honesty here and agree that it is silly to not have doubts about some of the holy scripture or to say that there cannot be a multitude, even a myriad, of different interpretations. But Jesus’ commandments are not easy, even if they are only two simple directives. At least they’re not for me. It’s only slightly easier to obey God these days, after ten years of trying to. We are faced with yet another move this summer and a whole world of uncertainty, and yet, for the first time I’m at peace and not even trying to desperately cobble a future together. This is a sign I know I’m obeying God with less opposition. But what happens when there is no discernment? Then it’s almost impossible to obey God. Or when there are people doing despicable things and yet we’re asked to forgive, even give them out other cheek? These things are supernaturally difficult, and may take a lifetime to learn. Good to see a new thought-provoking and soul-searching post, Amanda.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really appreciate how straight forward you are, Amaya. It’s refreshing. I agree Jesus’ 2 commandments (which I believe he got from Moses?) are not easy because there is so much wrapped up into them. And, yes, in order to follow them discernment must be used, which is one of the reason why scripture is so useful. I do believe the bible to be the tool everyone should use to get their morals aligned. I just get worn down a little by so many differing ideas on such petty things in the bible. I like to refer to the ten commandments and Jesus’ teachings. Those are the things I believe I understand.
      I’m so glad for you that you are at peace taking what may come from life. It is much easier to have an abandonment of fear and control (but still prepare, of course) than to think that we can determine everything that will happen to us. I still work on this myself because life is messy, and will throw so many curve balls right at us. Thank God for His peace! I could not do it without Him.
      As for forgiveness and turning the other cheek – my husband runs ‘what would you do’ scenarios by me all the time. This world is diabolically overrun, I have no doubt, but those are not the things I focus on. Those are not in the light. I cannot do what-if scenarios because I have no idea how God would have me to react in those particular moments. I try to have blind love though. For everyone. My husband calls it rose-colored glasses. I call it letting in love rather than hatred. I, too, get angry at things that should not be happening. But because of Jesus, I have learned those things are out of my control anyway, and that my duty is to combat them by being the opposite of them.
      God bless you and much Love to you, Amaya 🙂


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