The time when it is hardest to pray, is the time when your knees should definitely hit the floor.
We all go through peaks and valleys in life. One minute, we are on top of the world. The next, we are drowning in sorrow wondering what went wrong, what is our purpose. I can testify that when I first came to know, and accepted God I felt invincible. I felt as though I discovered some secret that I needed to reveal to everyone! Walking through my days with the Holy Spirit upon me, I wanted everyone around me to grasp, understand, you know, really believe in God. I wanted people to feel what I felt. I was way up on a peak in life! I felt as though God’s hand was leading me. My husband and I found God together. We were baptized together, and then wed in Holy Matrimony. We got rid of all the sinful things in our life that was hindering us in our spiritual journey. It was AMAZING.
He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters
During that first serving of the Lord several things took place. The group of friends we were hanging around started turning our faith into their gain. Being a bible study group, we were supposed to help one another, but instead the teaching we were doing with each other on love & God’s law turned into them literally trying to fill our minds with thoughts of demons and possession. They were trying to puff us up. Make us think we were more Holy than other people. They were going off on a whole different tangent than what I felt I was being lead. It was a very strange time in my life, to say the least. My husband and I started arguing more, and harder, than ever. My husband was laid-off. Times were very, very trying. I felt like my relationship with my parents (which had always been great) was dwindling. My valley had surfaced. God’s hand was removed, and I didn’t feel that Holy Spirit kicking inside of me anymore.
He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs— to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters
My husband and I started church hopping. Which I now realise is exactly what Satan wants. That devil wants us to enter a congregation and pick its preachings apart. God wants us to find the lesson in everything. To help one another, not criticize. We were both hung up on our group of friends disbanding. We felt my parents did not understand us, nor did anyone else. Questions about faith started arising. Hard questions that hurt my soul to even ponder. The time when it is hardest to pray, is the time when your knees should definitely hit the floor. I desperately wanted to feel Him working through me again. I wanted all of the wrongs to turn back right.
God saw that we were able to walk in His light. He lead us around stumbling blocks on our first peak. When He realised we could walk, He took His hand away. And into the valley we sunk. That’s where faith steps in. That’s where we really get tested. How faithful are we? He wants us to pray so that we will know He will deliver (among other reasons, of course). The peak will always come again. When you are at your lowest, know that God is waiting to hear from you. He wants you to give it all to Him. He will come through. And if you thought that the first peak in your life was the highest, He will take you even higher!
He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters